[he pushes down the thoughts of what the mist has done to him - tried to crack its way into the heart of his flame in favor of eyeing the other with care.]
Is there anything else strange that you feel, apart from these horns? In your body or in your spirit - the answer is important.
[he's reminded of hearing about urges, and he'd not like to be caught off guard around such a powerful Servant.]
Yes. [Before Avenger might know it Enkidu invades his private space again, looking at him curiously. Because really, aren't they affected as well? No horns? No wings? No urge to kill or fight?]
You seem unaffected.
[Then they smile and step back again.]
I have been a beast before, I have decided to not want to be one again. [Despite that, the urge is there. They manage to suppress it and remain calm but it is definitely there.] Well... [Now Avenger mentions that.] ...do you consider yourself a heroic spirit or the human being you once was?
[the tension that rockets through him is visible at close quarters. he's so affected by the mist that the subtleties in his demeanor are harder to maintain, and it's still there even when Enkidu steps back. it's not helped by the question he's being asked, and he laughs once - a cruel, sharp thing.]
Both ideas are far removed from reality. I am the incarnation of a man's wicked fantasy that he put to paper and the world pored over to sate their ceaseless urge for entertainment. And from that, I am that fantasy's shadow and misdeeds given a body, a voice. I am curses and despair poured into a shell - my soul is not that of a human.
[the words drip with bitterness, yet Dantes speaks them with conviction.]
Heroic? Do not make me laugh again, Lancer. I dwell beyond love and hatred, and am here because our master desires me to exist and fight. There is nothing noble in that.
I am the King of the Cavern, if you so wish an answer from me.
[That sounds rather...ominous. Enkidu has to blink a couple of times, really.]
You sound like it is something you do not want to be. Why don't you become something else then? I have spoken to other servants and they seem to be fond of breaking free from what they once were.
[It seems simple. And in the end it is really quite simple. All you have to do is make a choice, pick the path you want to walk upon. And funny enough, Enkidu cannot pick a path at all this time. In fact, they've lost all sense of direction.
How unusual.]
Maybe they can be of help. [They pause and take their time to touch the bump on their head again.] I am afraid I cannot be much of help when it comes to these matters.
[blunt and forward. how can he explain it without railing on against man, destiny, the whole world? it was ill fortune and the course of humanity, it was his sham of a life.]
It is not about what I want. There is nothing else I can become. There is nothing I would become. Let the others carry on their merry way of reforging their lives from the ashes - I am continually burning, and when I stop, I will cease to be in my entirety. Do you now understand?
[Oh, it is so annoying to feel that third horn pushing through and for a second there's a very big frown on Enkidu's face.]
Hmm. How to describe it best... [They are silent for a moment.] When you lost all purpose. That you have to walk a path that leads to something unknown. It is somewhat exciting yet, there is no the knowledge how to walk said path. So you wander or you stop.
We have to bond with strangers, we have to cast away what we have been and the memories we have. Promises we made, contracts we agreed to. They do not matter here.
[the words are harsh, but his eyes burn with conviction. before the other Servant can take offense, he continues.]
Is your purpose so easily rattled that a change in location is enough to displace it? It is still there, waiting at the end of your path - you are only taking a different route, moving through space and time to rejoin your journey! Nothing should be cast away, for it is yours still to bear and honor! To forsake it simply because you have been brought to a new world is foolish. Every promise you made still holds its weight, and if you let it go now, it is only because you were looking for an excuse to discard it in the first place.
Hmm, I can hear that your words are meant to comfort me. Thank you.
[Really, you have to do a lot to offend Enkidu, Avenger.]
Yet it is quite simple. Weapons are made to be used by someone. When they are left unused, they will rot.
[And that is what they are, a weapon without an owner. When they turn towards the other again the look on their face is everything except that of someone who feels insulted. It is perfectly neutral.]
They are a distasteful hindrance to our existence in this place. And yet, the consequences to be dire if we resist.
[this isn't answering the question, but he levels his eyes on Enkidu.]
When you come to grips with the fact that you will require one, insist that whoever it is take you as a partner, not a weapon. It will give you more sway in whatever choice you have made.
Yet it isn't death itself that hurts. It is saying goodbye. [Finally they shake their head.] I rather fulfil my purpose, Avenger. It is better if I do. I wish you good luck with the bond you made. Yet I want to advice you to never call your partner a distasteful hindrance in front of them.
Existence is a cruel thing. Why should this world be any different?
[he tucks his hands in his pockets, letting the bitterness of his words show. even if the flame in his core marking him as an Avenger has been changed, he can keep it burning with such sentiments.]
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no subject
[he pushes down the thoughts of what the mist has done to him - tried to crack its way into the heart of his flame in favor of eyeing the other with care.]
Is there anything else strange that you feel, apart from these horns? In your body or in your spirit - the answer is important.
[he's reminded of hearing about urges, and he'd not like to be caught off guard around such a powerful Servant.]
no subject
You seem unaffected.
[Then they smile and step back again.]
I have been a beast before, I have decided to not want to be one again. [Despite that, the urge is there. They manage to suppress it and remain calm but it is definitely there.] Well... [Now Avenger mentions that.] ...do you consider yourself a heroic spirit or the human being you once was?
no subject
Both ideas are far removed from reality. I am the incarnation of a man's wicked fantasy that he put to paper and the world pored over to sate their ceaseless urge for entertainment. And from that, I am that fantasy's shadow and misdeeds given a body, a voice. I am curses and despair poured into a shell - my soul is not that of a human.
[the words drip with bitterness, yet Dantes speaks them with conviction.]
Heroic? Do not make me laugh again, Lancer. I dwell beyond love and hatred, and am here because our master desires me to exist and fight. There is nothing noble in that.
I am the King of the Cavern, if you so wish an answer from me.
no subject
You sound like it is something you do not want to be. Why don't you become something else then? I have spoken to other servants and they seem to be fond of breaking free from what they once were.
[It seems simple. And in the end it is really quite simple. All you have to do is make a choice, pick the path you want to walk upon. And funny enough, Enkidu cannot pick a path at all this time. In fact, they've lost all sense of direction.
How unusual.]
Maybe they can be of help. [They pause and take their time to touch the bump on their head again.] I am afraid I cannot be much of help when it comes to these matters.
no subject
[blunt and forward. how can he explain it without railing on against man, destiny, the whole world? it was ill fortune and the course of humanity, it was his sham of a life.]
It is not about what I want. There is nothing else I can become. There is nothing I would become. Let the others carry on their merry way of reforging their lives from the ashes - I am continually burning, and when I stop, I will cease to be in my entirety. Do you now understand?
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[They gaze at the back of one of their hands for a couple of seconds before they focus on the other's face.]
Hmm. I take it that you must be as lost as I am, not?
no subject
[he knows where he is. in a strange world with new rules to learn and weave around until he gets the hang of it.]
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Hmm. How to describe it best... [They are silent for a moment.] When you lost all purpose. That you have to walk a path that leads to something unknown. It is somewhat exciting yet, there is no the knowledge how to walk said path. So you wander or you stop.
We have to bond with strangers, we have to cast away what we have been and the memories we have. Promises we made, contracts we agreed to. They do not matter here.
no subject
[the words are harsh, but his eyes burn with conviction. before the other Servant can take offense, he continues.]
Is your purpose so easily rattled that a change in location is enough to displace it? It is still there, waiting at the end of your path - you are only taking a different route, moving through space and time to rejoin your journey! Nothing should be cast away, for it is yours still to bear and honor! To forsake it simply because you have been brought to a new world is foolish. Every promise you made still holds its weight, and if you let it go now, it is only because you were looking for an excuse to discard it in the first place.
no subject
[Really, you have to do a lot to offend Enkidu, Avenger.]
Yet it is quite simple. Weapons are made to be used by someone. When they are left unused, they will rot.
[And that is what they are, a weapon without an owner. When they turn towards the other again the look on their face is everything except that of someone who feels insulted. It is perfectly neutral.]
May I ask you... are you bonded to someone?
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[his bonding was his own secret, for now. a necessity, not something he wants to spread everywhere.]
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[And even though they do not want to think about the past, clinging to said past is all they do.]
I merely want to know if you are.
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[this isn't answering the question, but he levels his eyes on Enkidu.]
When you come to grips with the fact that you will require one, insist that whoever it is take you as a partner, not a weapon. It will give you more sway in whatever choice you have made.
[it's the best advice he can give.]
no subject
[They look at the other.]
We'll die.
[Enkidu frowns as they say that.]
Yet it isn't death itself that hurts. It is saying goodbye. [Finally they shake their head.] I rather fulfil my purpose, Avenger. It is better if I do. I wish you good luck with the bond you made. Yet I want to advice you to never call your partner a distasteful hindrance in front of them.
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[frankly, he was lucky to have found someone so quick who was willing to keep his secrets. it freed his mind to worry about a thousand other things.]
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I do not hate bonds. Yet there are certain promises I cannot break.
[And there is a certain safety in holding on to their purpose.]
It is either...bond or die. [Finally they step away a little.] That is quite cruel. [Then they stay silent for a long time.]
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[he tucks his hands in his pockets, letting the bitterness of his words show. even if the flame in his core marking him as an Avenger has been changed, he can keep it burning with such sentiments.]
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[Enkidu ignores the bitter undertone of the other's words.]
To me the cruelty lies within remembering what you have left behind. It could be that that is where we differ.