[Enkidu believes in growth. In how souls can grow, fueled by the willpower a human holds inside. And it is true that every servant is nothing more than a story that is a part of human history. Their existences shaped it to what it is today.
But didn’t all of this triggered changes inside of them? They strayed away from their purpose and chose a life. They accepted their new purposes, they came to care, to love.
Yet Enkidu finds themselves clinging to all they have left behind. Because it is safe to be a weapon, there is a safety in hearing commands and obeying them. It is what they do best. And they want it back because they know so very well that they are worthless without it.
No one can use a broken weapon.]
Hmm… [Enkidu smiles, enjoying how parts of their body start to tingle with every bit of magic it loses.] …yet my soul cannot grow. Not like yours does. It is difficult for me to grasp this concept of living like all the others do, to accept a purpose that lies beyond the one the gods have given me. It is true that I need to figure this out for myself, yet I fear I do not have the capability to do so. [They sigh.] I am well aware of the negative nature of my words.
[The way humanity has written their friend has not been lost to them. No, not at all. But it has never brought relief. The unfairness of their death and the words Gilgamesh spoke clung to them as water would cling to their clothes.
The sudden touch of lips doesn’t surprise them entirely. Their eyes open briefly but they do not move. In a way it is soothing, kind.]
Cu…this is a temporarily solution… [Now they do shift so they can look at the other directly.] …falling apart will be inevitable… But I will not forget your kindness. And the fact you have been able to make me feel like this... Ah… [Enkidu chuckles softly.] …it will make me regret leaving this room eventually.
[ Negative is a light way to put it. Temporary solution makes Cú frown. Everything is temporary, only death is inevitable. The end comes for everyone, mortals and gods, all the same. That's a fact his people accepted, but because of this aware of death it made life so much more important.
Using "temporary solution" in context of all the options that Witches have outside the Bond, suggests a degree of apathetic acceptance of ones fate. Fate that results in their death that is. ]
Life itself is temporary, like every journey it will have to end someday.
[ Kind
Guess he never can sit in that place for long. He understands the pain, the struggle and loneliness- even acceptance of fate but it's apathy that he fears. When not having anyone and anything to fight for he turned entite struggle into a fight. ]
If your soul truly cannot grow from experiences found during this travel, it is only because you gave up on life already. [ He says, voice stern and words blunt. Red eyes watching Enkidu with sympathy but also focus. Just for a moment, because he breaks the contact to find a towel and throw it over their back. Hands pressing gently over the fabric, giving more warmth and soaking the residue oil. ]
[Enkidu turns around halfway. Despite all the relaxation they are experiencing and the kindness emanating from his hands they are aware of a certain sort of frustration now.
After Cu has placed a towel around their shoulders they move to sit up.]
That is quite easy for you to say. [They lean forward a little, looking straight at him.] May I ask you how you define your soul, Cu? Is it one that belongs to a human? A half god? A god, maybe? I am unfamiliar with your story.
[ Frustration, yes. Seeing Enkidu verbally give up over themselves, praise others for what they deny self- it is frustrating. They should give themselves more credit for what they are capable of. It might be hypocritical for Caster, but while he can have fatalistic outlook, he wants to push others in having more pride and hope in themselves.
But here comes the question and it's another tricky one. They surely know how to make people think, but if answer he gives could be of help to them... ]
My soul, huh. [ Cú mulls on the question as he grabs a blanket and throws it over Enkidu, also inviting himself under it. It's kinda cold here after all, and after all this warming up chill could creep all too soon. ] I was a son to mortal woman and a god. Deichtine was king's charioteer, the finest among her kind; Lugh of Tuatha de Dannan was praised as god of the sun, arts, crafts and oaths. But it wasn't unique situation, our gods walked among us often. They feasted, they hunted, they fought, made love and died among us. Many people could trace their ancestry back to them.
[ It's always a little strange to talk about this. He's not averse to talking about his past, or his thoughts. It's just rare to have someone ask these questions ]
There is no denying that the heritage in my blood has influenced who I am. [ It does so even now. "Arts and craft" and here he is combining magic with art of marking skin. The monstrous ríastrad rage could be traced back to his Fomorian ancestry. Three sides and yet how to choose just one ] Others around me seemed to care more of it than I did. At least until the day when I had to make a choice... because looks like there is always that moment, no? [ . . . ] If I'm boring ya, just say so. I ain't used to telling my own story.
[Oh, Enkidu isn't bored at all. They listen closely and at times the only thing that escapes their mouth is a small, soft hum. Another half god. Just like Gil has been. One who wielded the power of a god but possessed the soul of a human. A soul that could overcome and grow.
And while all of the other Heroic Spirits turned on their masters and embraced their lives here, Enkidu finds themselves unable to do so. They can look like a human and possess all the knowledge but that is how far it goes.
A human soul is all they truly want but no one could give them.]
No. It is an interesting story. [They get cozy underneath the blanket and lean against the other a little.] Tell me of the choice you had to make. Choices define every person.
I can't remember all the details, and soon you will learn why, but— [ Cú adjusts and puts his arm around Enkidu as they lean on him. It's comfortable, and there is no denying that he is radiating warmth because of all the fire magic he uses. He tries to focus on pulling a bit of magic coursing through the body next to him, but it's hard to keep focus on that and speak at the same time ]
I found myself in Tír na nÓg, the Land of the Youth and dwelling of the gods and place where souls of the dead could rest before moving onto another life. [ Surprise, Celts believed in form of reincarnation ] I stayed there for so long that Emer, my wife, searched the all lands to find me. And when she did, well, suffice to say I still have a lasting impression how angry she was—
[ There's a small chuckle at the end of this sentence. A deep fondness, mixed with melancholy when he says her name. Emer the wise, Emer the sage, Emer of the radiant smile. It stirs a pained twist, but that's just a thing to endure. ]
So that was the choice. Stay there and lose my connection to the mortal realm, or return with her. I chose the latter. Manannán mac Lir has mercifully put a veil over our memories of what transpired there— so we wouldn't miss the golden lands, or so we wouldn't carry away secrets of the gods.
[ A shrug. There must have been a reason. ]
Not that it means I never saw them again —once that pesky Morrígan sets her eyes on you, you're already done, you just don't know when. [ Pissing off a war goddess tends to affect your mortality rate. Who would have thought? ] It doesn't matter. My king, my kin, they were humans, so why should I care what kind of blood flows through my veins? I wanted to fight for them so that's where I went.
[ Has this story be of any help to Enkidu, he doesn't know. It does make him wonder though on things he never really pondered before. Lancer manifestation of the hero of men in all his glory, Berserker for the power and pure unstoppable strength that Fomorian blood brought, and Caster, the last druid to keep the lore of Tuatha de Dannan blood for they have sailed away— it's true, he never truly considered what his fragmented heritage could mean to him. Living life to the fullest for every second.
The smell of lavender still fills the room, but now with them so close, Cú can tell that Enkidu's smell reminds him of a forest, wildflowers, fields and all that is green and alive. All things have a right to grow, why are they so adamant that they're the only one that can't? On the other hand, maintaining the magic on the correct levels is not something that comes easy to the Mirrorbound Witches. ]
Look, I'm not going to say that I fully get what you're going through. All I'm saying— magic here does weird things to your head and you might not even notice. So don't give up just yet, you might see things differently with a clear mind. And if you ever need help with clearing that, seek me out.
[ More training, pulling out the magic, all different ways of dealing with it. It can be figured out, especially since a lot of old-fashioned Witches don't touch the Bonding stuff anyway. ]
[Enkidu likes to listen to stories. Stories have shaped humanity. A lot of Heroic Spirits has left their footsteps in it, each and every one of them contributing to old legends and myths. Or they were inventors, the ones that caused humanity to evolve, to advance. Donkeys became horses and horses became cars.]
It should not matter. The choice which call you want to follow is yours. Your blood does not define you, that is what the soul does. The soul is guided by the heart.
[But when the heart does not match the content of the soul everything stagnates.]
My magic does not work. I read a lot about its flow and how to stimulate its growth. But it jams. It takes a lot of energy to make it flow. It is quite the opposite of my abilities as a servant. I do think there is a way to overcome this, yet I still have to find it.
[Cu feels warm and it is pleasant to be in someone’s company. They curl an arm around Cu’s arm and hum softly.
Their story.]
That seems fair. Even though my story is old and long gone. What is it what you want to know?
[ Soul, heart. It's still intriguing that Enkidu makes a distinction. Shouldn't it be one and the same? But they come from different places, different times. In the end, it is something that causes differences in philosophy one follows.
Cú listens intently about the hurdles with magic (it's so easy to forget that he had an advantage by being a Caster) ]
There's plenty I'd want to know, but— consider it a promise for later. [ So there is something to wait for, something to hold on for, but also because— he moves to put his arm around Enkidu only to sweep them off into his arms ] You sound weary, and it was meant to make you relax. The resting room is fitted, how about you being the first one to check how well it fulfills its purpose?
[ Maybe to take a nap. Or another kind of rest. And yes, he intends to carry them over there. ]
To be fair, I do not think I wish to tell these stories right now. I am quite tired.
[Enkidu's eyes widen slightly when the other scoops them up like that.]
Ah...it is true that I am tired...yet I am still able to stand upon my own feet. [Still, they do not move.] If there is a bed I think I will be doing alright.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
But didn’t all of this triggered changes inside of them? They strayed away from their purpose and chose a life. They accepted their new purposes, they came to care, to love.
Yet Enkidu finds themselves clinging to all they have left behind. Because it is safe to be a weapon, there is a safety in hearing commands and obeying them. It is what they do best. And they want it back because they know so very well that they are worthless without it.
No one can use a broken weapon.]
Hmm… [Enkidu smiles, enjoying how parts of their body start to tingle with every bit of magic it loses.] …yet my soul cannot grow. Not like yours does. It is difficult for me to grasp this concept of living like all the others do, to accept a purpose that lies beyond the one the gods have given me. It is true that I need to figure this out for myself, yet I fear I do not have the capability to do so. [They sigh.] I am well aware of the negative nature of my words.
[The way humanity has written their friend has not been lost to them. No, not at all. But it has never brought relief. The unfairness of their death and the words Gilgamesh spoke clung to them as water would cling to their clothes.
The sudden touch of lips doesn’t surprise them entirely. Their eyes open briefly but they do not move. In a way it is soothing, kind.]
Cu…this is a temporarily solution… [Now they do shift so they can look at the other directly.] …falling apart will be inevitable… But I will not forget your kindness. And the fact you have been able to make me feel like this... Ah… [Enkidu chuckles softly.] …it will make me regret leaving this room eventually.
no subject
Using "temporary solution" in context of all the options that Witches have outside the Bond, suggests a degree of apathetic acceptance of ones fate. Fate that results in their death that is. ]
Life itself is temporary, like every journey it will have to end someday.
[ Kind
Guess he never can sit in that place for long. He understands the pain, the struggle and loneliness- even acceptance of fate but it's apathy that he fears. When not having anyone and anything to fight for he turned entite struggle into a fight. ]
If your soul truly cannot grow from experiences found during this travel, it is only because you gave up on life already. [ He says, voice stern and words blunt. Red eyes watching Enkidu with sympathy but also focus. Just for a moment, because he breaks the contact to find a towel and throw it over their back. Hands pressing gently over the fabric, giving more warmth and soaking the residue oil. ]
no subject
[Enkidu turns around halfway. Despite all the relaxation they are experiencing and the kindness emanating from his hands they are aware of a certain sort of frustration now.
After Cu has placed a towel around their shoulders they move to sit up.]
That is quite easy for you to say. [They lean forward a little, looking straight at him.] May I ask you how you define your soul, Cu? Is it one that belongs to a human? A half god? A god, maybe? I am unfamiliar with your story.
no subject
But here comes the question and it's another tricky one. They surely know how to make people think, but if answer he gives could be of help to them... ]
My soul, huh. [ Cú mulls on the question as he grabs a blanket and throws it over Enkidu, also inviting himself under it. It's kinda cold here after all, and after all this warming up chill could creep all too soon. ] I was a son to mortal woman and a god. Deichtine was king's charioteer, the finest among her kind; Lugh of Tuatha de Dannan was praised as god of the sun, arts, crafts and oaths. But it wasn't unique situation, our gods walked among us often. They feasted, they hunted, they fought, made love and died among us. Many people could trace their ancestry back to them.
[ It's always a little strange to talk about this. He's not averse to talking about his past, or his thoughts. It's just rare to have someone ask these questions ]
There is no denying that the heritage in my blood has influenced who I am. [ It does so even now. "Arts and craft" and here he is combining magic with art of marking skin. The monstrous ríastrad rage could be traced back to his Fomorian ancestry. Three sides and yet how to choose just one ] Others around me seemed to care more of it than I did. At least until the day when I had to make a choice... because looks like there is always that moment, no? [ . . . ] If I'm boring ya, just say so. I ain't used to telling my own story.
no subject
And while all of the other Heroic Spirits turned on their masters and embraced their lives here, Enkidu finds themselves unable to do so. They can look like a human and possess all the knowledge but that is how far it goes.
A human soul is all they truly want but no one could give them.]
No. It is an interesting story. [They get cozy underneath the blanket and lean against the other a little.] Tell me of the choice you had to make. Choices define every person.
no subject
I found myself in Tír na nÓg, the Land of the Youth and dwelling of the gods and place where souls of the dead could rest before moving onto another life. [ Surprise, Celts believed in form of reincarnation ] I stayed there for so long that Emer, my wife, searched the all lands to find me. And when she did, well, suffice to say I still have a lasting impression how angry she was—
[ There's a small chuckle at the end of this sentence. A deep fondness, mixed with melancholy when he says her name. Emer the wise, Emer the sage, Emer of the radiant smile. It stirs a pained twist, but that's just a thing to endure. ]
So that was the choice. Stay there and lose my connection to the mortal realm, or return with her. I chose the latter. Manannán mac Lir has mercifully put a veil over our memories of what transpired there— so we wouldn't miss the golden lands, or so we wouldn't carry away secrets of the gods.
[ A shrug. There must have been a reason. ]
Not that it means I never saw them again —once that pesky Morrígan sets her eyes on you, you're already done, you just don't know when. [ Pissing off a war goddess tends to affect your mortality rate. Who would have thought? ] It doesn't matter. My king, my kin, they were humans, so why should I care what kind of blood flows through my veins? I wanted to fight for them so that's where I went.
[ Has this story be of any help to Enkidu, he doesn't know. It does make him wonder though on things he never really pondered before. Lancer manifestation of the hero of men in all his glory, Berserker for the power and pure unstoppable strength that Fomorian blood brought, and Caster, the last druid to keep the lore of Tuatha de Dannan blood for they have sailed away— it's true, he never truly considered what his fragmented heritage could mean to him. Living life to the fullest for every second.
The smell of lavender still fills the room, but now with them so close, Cú can tell that Enkidu's smell reminds him of a forest, wildflowers, fields and all that is green and alive. All things have a right to grow, why are they so adamant that they're the only one that can't? On the other hand, maintaining the magic on the correct levels is not something that comes easy to the Mirrorbound Witches. ]
Look, I'm not going to say that I fully get what you're going through. All I'm saying— magic here does weird things to your head and you might not even notice. So don't give up just yet, you might see things differently with a clear mind. And if you ever need help with clearing that, seek me out.
[ More training, pulling out the magic, all different ways of dealing with it. It can be figured out, especially since a lot of old-fashioned Witches don't touch the Bonding stuff anyway. ]
Besides, now you owe me a story of your own.
[ So don't try dying before that. ]
no subject
It should not matter. The choice which call you want to follow is yours. Your blood does not define you, that is what the soul does. The soul is guided by the heart.
[But when the heart does not match the content of the soul everything stagnates.]
My magic does not work. I read a lot about its flow and how to stimulate its growth. But it jams. It takes a lot of energy to make it flow. It is quite the opposite of my abilities as a servant. I do think there is a way to overcome this, yet I still have to find it.
[Cu feels warm and it is pleasant to be in someone’s company. They curl an arm around Cu’s arm and hum softly.
Their story.]
That seems fair. Even though my story is old and long gone. What is it what you want to know?
no subject
Cú listens intently about the hurdles with magic (it's so easy to forget that he had an advantage by being a Caster) ]
There's plenty I'd want to know, but— consider it a promise for later. [ So there is something to wait for, something to hold on for, but also because— he moves to put his arm around Enkidu only to sweep them off into his arms ] You sound weary, and it was meant to make you relax. The resting room is fitted, how about you being the first one to check how well it fulfills its purpose?
[ Maybe to take a nap. Or another kind of rest. And yes, he intends to carry them over there. ]
no subject
[Enkidu's eyes widen slightly when the other scoops them up like that.]
Ah...it is true that I am tired...yet I am still able to stand upon my own feet. [Still, they do not move.] If there is a bed I think I will be doing alright.