[ Hands can be emoji too, alas the idea of making these signs in the air with magic.. yeah that would be possible with illusion. It's a funny idea, sending faces at people. Caster takes another drag, and gets off the window. He rummages in a cabinet to pick up a mysterious, green bottle. The writing on it is with such elaborate font it's barely readable, but hey it looks pretty. ]
Test this, basically. [ If Enkidu is so set in their ways of not accepting a return gesture, maybe they can be swayed by "being helpful" ] I got a sample, it's a soothing oil. Good for massage and services like that. Supposedly it also drains a bit of magic to activate additional healing properties.
[ Enchanted ink used to tattoos makes the process rather painful. Soothing and healing aftercare could be a nice bonus. Not to mention everything that passively uses up magic, just by being applied is a godsend ]
—if you let me put my hands on you. [ They're pretty skilled! ]
[Enkidu sips their ale slowly while the other shows them a green bottle. A soothing oil.]
I will not lie. That sounds like something I might need. [They aren't doing well with keeping their magic in check and there is a large crack running over one of their arms.] Perhaps it could release some of the tension I feel.
[ That crack is... rather concerning. Better this thing works as it's advertised, the healing factor could be of use right now. ]
At least your shirt, yeah. [ Cú grabs two blankets and puts them on the table. They'll need to cushion it better eventually, but for now, it will do. ] Lie face-down and let me do the magic.
[ In the meantime, he puts out the cigarette in the ashtray, and pours a bit of oil onto his hand to warm it up with his touch. It comes with a calming fragrance of lavender and Cú can't help but wonder if the scent is also enchanted. ]
[Enkidu has never been prude. There were times they ran around naked through the forest. Without any protest they remove their shirt and it becomes apparent that not only their arms have started to show cracks. There is a large one running over their chest as well.]
Hmm…now to allow a Caster to do all the magic. [It is a joke, yet their voice sounds a little tired when they speak.] Seems risky.
[There is the smallest (tired) smile on their face before they move to lie down on the table.]
Lavender…
[That is really nice, it reminds them of spring. And forests. And everything they truly care for.]
But I can guarantee it's worth the risk. [ Cú answers with similar joke ] They chose a good smell, Lavender is the soothing and relaxing aroma.
[ The spring is far away, but forests are almost within reach... almost... even with all the dangers associated with the Wildes. Cú takes a moment to look over the body presented to him; there's more cracks. Is the damage coming from outside, or from within? Enkidu's body is different, and yet they're forced to adapt to this world as everyone else.
As he drizzles oil onto Enkidu's bared skin, he hopes the oil really does have healing properties as advertised. Then he starts to slowly rub it in, with circular unhurried motions. There's a lot of tension points he takes note of. For a moment he pauses to get gently push some of the long emerald strands out of the way.
On purpose, he withholds his magic, seeing as (and how) the oil reacts with Enkidu's skin instead. ]
Tell me— Do these wounds hurt? [ He is for now avoiding the crack that he sees. He's not yet that trusting of that medication to put it on potentially open wound ]
I will put my body in your hands, then. [That isn't a problem.] Lavender is the type of scent that is soothing and refreshing at the same time. It is a very good choice.
[They shift a little until they deem themselves comfortable.]
Lavender grows during spring. I associate the scent with good memories. [Of their adventures at Gilgamesh's side, mostly.Truly, everything would be so much easier if his best friend would be here.
And oh, ohh, Cú is good with his hands. For the first time in ages they can feel how the tension leaves their body.]
This feels good... [Enkidu slowly closes their eyes.] ...your hands are kind. [Wait, the wound?] No...my body is merely breaking down. Worry not, it has done that before. [They hum softly before shifting again.] I haven't made a bond.
[ "Breaking down" that sounds incredibly alarming. It's good to know that his ministrations feel pleasant, but he can't help but worry... ]
Is your body capable of rebuilding itself? [ Talam isn't a world always kind to those it decides to spirit away. "Haven't made a Bond" are words that resonate with Cú more than he'd be willing to admit. It brings memories of his first months here— even Berserker chastised him for not seeking a Bond back then, but it wasn't about not seeking it. Witches grow restless and irritable without one, it makes... it can make the very act of connecting with people a lot harder. ]
Bond is a serious decision and you're taking your time— [ He wishes to say to take all the time they need but... they don't have all that time. Explains all the tensions he finds in their body. He starts to rub their shoulders in more proper massage, working the muscle beneath the skin— still mindful of the cracks but no longer avoiding them. Let's see if this enchanted ointment heals them. Cú takes a slow to exhale as he tries something more than just massage.
Taking magic is natural for Monsters, but Witches are capable of it too. The Bond between two (if no Monster is involved) is after all made of careful cycling of mana between them. He never really had a chance to experience is, but with two Monsters Bonded to him, he's in no danger if he taps and takes bit of this energy. To lessen Enkidu's burden at least a little. It's a gentle tug and pull ] Until you find one, have you tried the alternatives?
Yes. [The smile on Enkidu's face is somewhat melancholic.] I used to be able to draw energy from the ground underneath me.
[They prepare themselves for another preach about how bonds will solve all their problems, how it would make them whole, how it would benefit their magic.]
It is not a matter of making a decision or looking around for the ones who are compatible. [But they can feel that tension disappear with every movement of Cu's hands. It makes it easier to speak, easier to explain.] I like them, I like to talk to them and listen to their stories. At times I find myself fascinated with their growth.
[This is relaxing.]
But they are not my friend.
[To be fair, they haven't. Enkidu has been tired lately and they have spent a lot of time sleeping.]
I will not find one but you may tell me of these other possibilities. [Finally they close their eyes.] Your kindness moves me.
[ What a stubborn one Enkidu is— but Cú is not going to give a lecture. At least, not yet. Everyone knows that Bonds are necessary already, that doesn't make finding them any bit easier. Especially when it includes changing your own attitude about them. ]
So your Bond would have to be your friend... Sounds like you just need more time to make some. [ A friend, or do they mean a very particular friend that is not here? Spreading out his hand, Caster presses the heel of his palm into one particularly stubborn knot—working it out to release the tension he found. It might be a little painful, but that's what the oil is here for. And in the end, muscles relieved of tensions will feel better afterward. ] As for alternatives— there are familiars, friendly creatures sensitive to magic. Well, any animal can work, as long as it's fond of you, Rituals to expel excess magic works short-term, but they're best when there is someone to receive it.
[ There— the knot goes away, and Cú's touch is back to gentle, almost apologetic ]
Channeling and cycling it through intimacy is also another way. [ Even today some Witches refuses to Bond. And there were ways of handling the build-up before this become popular ]
[There is no such thing as more friends. There is one friend. One true friend. The one they will not ever replace.]
Ah. No. [Enkidu sighs deeply because they miss Gilgamesh terribly.] My friend is not here. I cannot bond with another until he is here. I have promised that I'll never replace him and I will keep that promise. If that would mean that I will explode...so be it. [Normally their voice has a neutral tone but now the sadness is audible.
After those words they utter an uncomfortable sound. Whatever Cu is doing now, he's mashing up their bones or something like that. Still, they remain still, frowning a little.]
Did your bond turned into a lasting one? One you cannot do without? One that gives you purpose?
[ The harsher part of treatment is over, and it's back to the softer, more soothing movement. Caster takes some more of that oil, to make sure the tension know is gone. He runs his hands down Enkidu's spine and back, tapping his fingers against their skin as if playing an instrument.
Who he is to tell Enkidu how to live? Or anyone else. On the other hand, a druid's role is to guide— guiding sometimes requires lectures. It's an art to figure out where it's time for that. ]
You ask a heavy question [ He hums thoughtfully ] I didn't want to Bond with someone I didn't feel a connection with, so it took time. Before that I did the best I could, staving the magic off in different ways— expelling or giving away where I could. Yes, through pleasure too.
[ It's efficient. It's fun. And it is a form of connection in the world that thrives on them. He is still open to helping others in this way, even if he is stabilized by both Lex and Archer. ]
Eventually, I found them, and I've taken initiative. [ A tough decision, back in those magic-muddled days some of the really negative feelings took hold, mostly irrational and blinding. Including a sad, selfish wish to find someone, or maybe be found by someone who would want to Bond with him. ] They're both are like a warm presence, always coiled somewhere beyond my heart. I belong to them, and they belong to me. So yes, it is a lasting one and it gives me a purpose. I'm glad I took that step then, even if I had no true idea what I signed for.
[ Lex was already a friend, a fellow warrior— a survivalist, adaptable and strong. Someone to admire and to trust. Archer was a harder case, less about similarities and more about how they complement their strengths and cover each other for their weaknesses. Yet he still partially can understand the sadness behind the stubborn loneliness. The need for it to be perfect. The need to truly Bond. Cú didn't have just One Friend, but the circle of his loved ones weren't as wide as some would think. A handful of names that truly made him alive. But nostalgia over loves long lost can turn into a poisonous melancholy.
Cú's hands travel to Enkidu's slender neck, press behind their ears, leaving the warmth and lavender scent. He leans down once again to gently brush away the long hair. ]
Tell me Enkidu. Would your friend want to see you waste away without him?
[They listen closely to that explanation while Cu works his magic. The entire room has filled itself with the sweet scent of lavender and it has been such a long time they've felt like this. Too relaxed to worry. But, on the other hand, relaxed enough to speak freely.]
I know how heavy that question is. The importance of these bonds are not unknown to me. The ones involved fall for one another and because of that their souls grow. Servants become living beings, freed from a contract that bound them to battles and grail wars.
[But those words sound sweet. To belong to one another, to stand at someone's side. To have a purpose again, wanting to grow further because of that. And truly, they wish they could just ask someone to be that person to them. But important vows had bound them to where they are now. And they just aren't suitable to become a witch.
Enkidu has never known that this particular servant was able to do something like this. Touches so soft that it sends shivers down their spine.]
That is a heavy question as well. [They shift a little when Cu touches their hair and brushes it aside.] And I cannot give you an answer. But I can tell you that when I felt myself falling apart in his arms a long time ago, I heard him tell me that no one else would ever be a friend to him except for me. I was worth that much to him. He is a king, yet he cried for me. [They gaze at their hand and the tiny cracks on their fingers.] Therefore I will not ever replace him. I will never soil those words or take them for granted.
[They can feel their chest ache while saying that. There is a reason why they don't speak about their past, about their death, about all that has been said.]
[ Can they really grow? Aren't they just shadows of stories a long time gone? Back in their world, it's an honour to fight, but here— Caster pushes aside his own questions. He's honoured, really. For having Enkidu open up and trust with their feelings to him is something he will treasure. The ointment indeed drains magic of their body and Cú... does pull and tugs using its effects. The process of cycling magic must be a willing one, so he can't take much— but what he can, might take a bit off that overload. Lessen the burden. Normally, witch and witch bonds are frowned upon because of tight control it requires to maintain them.
But he got two Monsters (precious people) anchored to him, he can take a bit more and have it leveled with ease. Along with the tension of their body, ease the tension of their mind, is the only thing he can do. For he knows his words while coming from a place of genuine care, might be seen as a blow.
In the end he was always am honest but blunt man. ]
The answer is something you need to figure out for yourself, not me. We might have come from different places and different times, but I can see your heart is big and clear. Your friend, your king, he can never be replaced. [ That's something he agrees on. Just like his own wife, his friend, his mentor and his blood-brother are all people that cannot have their places taken. And if someone would try, he would take a great offense at it. ] But he lived the rest of his life after your death, not alone, but as a king to his men.
[ Otherwise he wouldn't be a good king — no king is truly alone, or rather, he falls when he gets to that point. And whatever his personal thoughts about Gilgamesh could be, there is no denying that this man has written himself in history as someone who grew to be a great king ] Forging a new connection with someone does not equal forfeiting or replacing one that is already there. Maybe that's something to think about, alas—
[ Draining this bit of Enkidu's magic, drains also his pain and the melancholy of this kind is as beautiful, as it could be poison. It reminds him of his own time when the overflowing magic made every emotion intense— and longing for someone outside his reach, instead of just painful and melancholic it was a pain that wrecked his very being. Servants are stories finished and done, yet here they are granted life and free will again and that—
—that can be troubling to ridiculous extent.
Not every Servant has unfinished business, not every Servant wants another chance at life. Some of them are content when they are and this world shakes their very core. But it's a personal journey to find that meaning again. A guide is there to help, not to make a decision for someone. Cú leans down again, giving into a sudden temptation— he brushes his lips against Enkidu's neck. A ghost of a touch barely felt probable ]
Do not fall apart just yet. And if you need any kind of help to keep you grounded.
[Enkidu believes in growth. In how souls can grow, fueled by the willpower a human holds inside. And it is true that every servant is nothing more than a story that is a part of human history. Their existences shaped it to what it is today.
But didn’t all of this triggered changes inside of them? They strayed away from their purpose and chose a life. They accepted their new purposes, they came to care, to love.
Yet Enkidu finds themselves clinging to all they have left behind. Because it is safe to be a weapon, there is a safety in hearing commands and obeying them. It is what they do best. And they want it back because they know so very well that they are worthless without it.
No one can use a broken weapon.]
Hmm… [Enkidu smiles, enjoying how parts of their body start to tingle with every bit of magic it loses.] …yet my soul cannot grow. Not like yours does. It is difficult for me to grasp this concept of living like all the others do, to accept a purpose that lies beyond the one the gods have given me. It is true that I need to figure this out for myself, yet I fear I do not have the capability to do so. [They sigh.] I am well aware of the negative nature of my words.
[The way humanity has written their friend has not been lost to them. No, not at all. But it has never brought relief. The unfairness of their death and the words Gilgamesh spoke clung to them as water would cling to their clothes.
The sudden touch of lips doesn’t surprise them entirely. Their eyes open briefly but they do not move. In a way it is soothing, kind.]
Cu…this is a temporarily solution… [Now they do shift so they can look at the other directly.] …falling apart will be inevitable… But I will not forget your kindness. And the fact you have been able to make me feel like this... Ah… [Enkidu chuckles softly.] …it will make me regret leaving this room eventually.
[ Negative is a light way to put it. Temporary solution makes Cú frown. Everything is temporary, only death is inevitable. The end comes for everyone, mortals and gods, all the same. That's a fact his people accepted, but because of this aware of death it made life so much more important.
Using "temporary solution" in context of all the options that Witches have outside the Bond, suggests a degree of apathetic acceptance of ones fate. Fate that results in their death that is. ]
Life itself is temporary, like every journey it will have to end someday.
[ Kind
Guess he never can sit in that place for long. He understands the pain, the struggle and loneliness- even acceptance of fate but it's apathy that he fears. When not having anyone and anything to fight for he turned entite struggle into a fight. ]
If your soul truly cannot grow from experiences found during this travel, it is only because you gave up on life already. [ He says, voice stern and words blunt. Red eyes watching Enkidu with sympathy but also focus. Just for a moment, because he breaks the contact to find a towel and throw it over their back. Hands pressing gently over the fabric, giving more warmth and soaking the residue oil. ]
[Enkidu turns around halfway. Despite all the relaxation they are experiencing and the kindness emanating from his hands they are aware of a certain sort of frustration now.
After Cu has placed a towel around their shoulders they move to sit up.]
That is quite easy for you to say. [They lean forward a little, looking straight at him.] May I ask you how you define your soul, Cu? Is it one that belongs to a human? A half god? A god, maybe? I am unfamiliar with your story.
[ Frustration, yes. Seeing Enkidu verbally give up over themselves, praise others for what they deny self- it is frustrating. They should give themselves more credit for what they are capable of. It might be hypocritical for Caster, but while he can have fatalistic outlook, he wants to push others in having more pride and hope in themselves.
But here comes the question and it's another tricky one. They surely know how to make people think, but if answer he gives could be of help to them... ]
My soul, huh. [ Cú mulls on the question as he grabs a blanket and throws it over Enkidu, also inviting himself under it. It's kinda cold here after all, and after all this warming up chill could creep all too soon. ] I was a son to mortal woman and a god. Deichtine was king's charioteer, the finest among her kind; Lugh of Tuatha de Dannan was praised as god of the sun, arts, crafts and oaths. But it wasn't unique situation, our gods walked among us often. They feasted, they hunted, they fought, made love and died among us. Many people could trace their ancestry back to them.
[ It's always a little strange to talk about this. He's not averse to talking about his past, or his thoughts. It's just rare to have someone ask these questions ]
There is no denying that the heritage in my blood has influenced who I am. [ It does so even now. "Arts and craft" and here he is combining magic with art of marking skin. The monstrous ríastrad rage could be traced back to his Fomorian ancestry. Three sides and yet how to choose just one ] Others around me seemed to care more of it than I did. At least until the day when I had to make a choice... because looks like there is always that moment, no? [ . . . ] If I'm boring ya, just say so. I ain't used to telling my own story.
[Oh, Enkidu isn't bored at all. They listen closely and at times the only thing that escapes their mouth is a small, soft hum. Another half god. Just like Gil has been. One who wielded the power of a god but possessed the soul of a human. A soul that could overcome and grow.
And while all of the other Heroic Spirits turned on their masters and embraced their lives here, Enkidu finds themselves unable to do so. They can look like a human and possess all the knowledge but that is how far it goes.
A human soul is all they truly want but no one could give them.]
No. It is an interesting story. [They get cozy underneath the blanket and lean against the other a little.] Tell me of the choice you had to make. Choices define every person.
I can't remember all the details, and soon you will learn why, but— [ Cú adjusts and puts his arm around Enkidu as they lean on him. It's comfortable, and there is no denying that he is radiating warmth because of all the fire magic he uses. He tries to focus on pulling a bit of magic coursing through the body next to him, but it's hard to keep focus on that and speak at the same time ]
I found myself in Tír na nÓg, the Land of the Youth and dwelling of the gods and place where souls of the dead could rest before moving onto another life. [ Surprise, Celts believed in form of reincarnation ] I stayed there for so long that Emer, my wife, searched the all lands to find me. And when she did, well, suffice to say I still have a lasting impression how angry she was—
[ There's a small chuckle at the end of this sentence. A deep fondness, mixed with melancholy when he says her name. Emer the wise, Emer the sage, Emer of the radiant smile. It stirs a pained twist, but that's just a thing to endure. ]
So that was the choice. Stay there and lose my connection to the mortal realm, or return with her. I chose the latter. Manannán mac Lir has mercifully put a veil over our memories of what transpired there— so we wouldn't miss the golden lands, or so we wouldn't carry away secrets of the gods.
[ A shrug. There must have been a reason. ]
Not that it means I never saw them again —once that pesky Morrígan sets her eyes on you, you're already done, you just don't know when. [ Pissing off a war goddess tends to affect your mortality rate. Who would have thought? ] It doesn't matter. My king, my kin, they were humans, so why should I care what kind of blood flows through my veins? I wanted to fight for them so that's where I went.
[ Has this story be of any help to Enkidu, he doesn't know. It does make him wonder though on things he never really pondered before. Lancer manifestation of the hero of men in all his glory, Berserker for the power and pure unstoppable strength that Fomorian blood brought, and Caster, the last druid to keep the lore of Tuatha de Dannan blood for they have sailed away— it's true, he never truly considered what his fragmented heritage could mean to him. Living life to the fullest for every second.
The smell of lavender still fills the room, but now with them so close, Cú can tell that Enkidu's smell reminds him of a forest, wildflowers, fields and all that is green and alive. All things have a right to grow, why are they so adamant that they're the only one that can't? On the other hand, maintaining the magic on the correct levels is not something that comes easy to the Mirrorbound Witches. ]
Look, I'm not going to say that I fully get what you're going through. All I'm saying— magic here does weird things to your head and you might not even notice. So don't give up just yet, you might see things differently with a clear mind. And if you ever need help with clearing that, seek me out.
[ More training, pulling out the magic, all different ways of dealing with it. It can be figured out, especially since a lot of old-fashioned Witches don't touch the Bonding stuff anyway. ]
[Enkidu likes to listen to stories. Stories have shaped humanity. A lot of Heroic Spirits has left their footsteps in it, each and every one of them contributing to old legends and myths. Or they were inventors, the ones that caused humanity to evolve, to advance. Donkeys became horses and horses became cars.]
It should not matter. The choice which call you want to follow is yours. Your blood does not define you, that is what the soul does. The soul is guided by the heart.
[But when the heart does not match the content of the soul everything stagnates.]
My magic does not work. I read a lot about its flow and how to stimulate its growth. But it jams. It takes a lot of energy to make it flow. It is quite the opposite of my abilities as a servant. I do think there is a way to overcome this, yet I still have to find it.
[Cu feels warm and it is pleasant to be in someone’s company. They curl an arm around Cu’s arm and hum softly.
Their story.]
That seems fair. Even though my story is old and long gone. What is it what you want to know?
[ Soul, heart. It's still intriguing that Enkidu makes a distinction. Shouldn't it be one and the same? But they come from different places, different times. In the end, it is something that causes differences in philosophy one follows.
Cú listens intently about the hurdles with magic (it's so easy to forget that he had an advantage by being a Caster) ]
There's plenty I'd want to know, but— consider it a promise for later. [ So there is something to wait for, something to hold on for, but also because— he moves to put his arm around Enkidu only to sweep them off into his arms ] You sound weary, and it was meant to make you relax. The resting room is fitted, how about you being the first one to check how well it fulfills its purpose?
[ Maybe to take a nap. Or another kind of rest. And yes, he intends to carry them over there. ]
To be fair, I do not think I wish to tell these stories right now. I am quite tired.
[Enkidu's eyes widen slightly when the other scoops them up like that.]
Ah...it is true that I am tired...yet I am still able to stand upon my own feet. [Still, they do not move.] If there is a bed I think I will be doing alright.
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no subject
Date: 2019-12-04 08:00 pm (UTC)Test this, basically. [ If Enkidu is so set in their ways of not accepting a return gesture, maybe they can be swayed by "being helpful" ] I got a sample, it's a soothing oil. Good for massage and services like that. Supposedly it also drains a bit of magic to activate additional healing properties.
[ Enchanted ink used to tattoos makes the process rather painful. Soothing and healing aftercare could be a nice bonus. Not to mention everything that passively uses up magic, just by being applied is a godsend ]
—if you let me put my hands on you. [ They're pretty skilled! ]
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Date: 2019-12-04 08:29 pm (UTC)I will not lie. That sounds like something I might need. [They aren't doing well with keeping their magic in check and there is a large crack running over one of their arms.] Perhaps it could release some of the tension I feel.
[Slowly they step a little closer.]
Should I remove some of my clothes?
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Date: 2019-12-04 11:46 pm (UTC)At least your shirt, yeah. [ Cú grabs two blankets and puts them on the table. They'll need to cushion it better eventually, but for now, it will do. ] Lie face-down and let me do the magic.
[ In the meantime, he puts out the cigarette in the ashtray, and pours a bit of oil onto his hand to warm it up with his touch. It comes with a calming fragrance of lavender and Cú can't help but wonder if the scent is also enchanted. ]
no subject
Date: 2019-12-05 10:00 am (UTC)Hmm…now to allow a Caster to do all the magic. [It is a joke, yet their voice sounds a little tired when they speak.] Seems risky.
[There is the smallest (tired) smile on their face before they move to lie down on the table.]
Lavender…
[That is really nice, it reminds them of spring. And forests. And everything they truly care for.]
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Date: 2019-12-05 09:27 pm (UTC)[ The spring is far away, but forests are almost within reach... almost... even with all the dangers associated with the Wildes. Cú takes a moment to look over the body presented to him; there's more cracks. Is the damage coming from outside, or from within? Enkidu's body is different, and yet they're forced to adapt to this world as everyone else.
As he drizzles oil onto Enkidu's bared skin, he hopes the oil really does have healing properties as advertised. Then he starts to slowly rub it in, with circular unhurried motions. There's a lot of tension points he takes note of. For a moment he pauses to get gently push some of the long emerald strands out of the way.
On purpose, he withholds his magic, seeing as (and how) the oil reacts with Enkidu's skin instead. ]
Tell me— Do these wounds hurt? [ He is for now avoiding the crack that he sees. He's not yet that trusting of that medication to put it on potentially open wound ]
no subject
Date: 2019-12-05 10:23 pm (UTC)[They shift a little until they deem themselves comfortable.]
Lavender grows during spring. I associate the scent with good memories. [Of their adventures at Gilgamesh's side, mostly.Truly, everything would be so much easier if his best friend would be here.
And oh, ohh, Cú is good with his hands. For the first time in ages they can feel how the tension leaves their body.]
This feels good... [Enkidu slowly closes their eyes.] ...your hands are kind. [Wait, the wound?] No...my body is merely breaking down. Worry not, it has done that before. [They hum softly before shifting again.] I haven't made a bond.
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Date: 2019-12-07 11:00 pm (UTC)Is your body capable of rebuilding itself? [ Talam isn't a world always kind to those it decides to spirit away. "Haven't made a Bond" are words that resonate with Cú more than he'd be willing to admit. It brings memories of his first months here— even Berserker chastised him for not seeking a Bond back then, but it wasn't about not seeking it. Witches grow restless and irritable without one, it makes... it can make the very act of connecting with people a lot harder. ]
Bond is a serious decision and you're taking your time— [ He wishes to say to take all the time they need but... they don't have all that time. Explains all the tensions he finds in their body. He starts to rub their shoulders in more proper massage, working the muscle beneath the skin— still mindful of the cracks but no longer avoiding them. Let's see if this enchanted ointment heals them. Cú takes a slow to exhale as he tries something more than just massage.
Taking magic is natural for Monsters, but Witches are capable of it too. The Bond between two (if no Monster is involved) is after all made of careful cycling of mana between them. He never really had a chance to experience is, but with two Monsters Bonded to him, he's in no danger if he taps and takes bit of this energy. To lessen Enkidu's burden at least a little. It's a gentle tug and pull ] Until you find one, have you tried the alternatives?
[ That's something he's overly familiar with ]
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Date: 2019-12-08 12:46 pm (UTC)[They prepare themselves for another preach about how bonds will solve all their problems, how it would make them whole, how it would benefit their magic.]
It is not a matter of making a decision or looking around for the ones who are compatible. [But they can feel that tension disappear with every movement of Cu's hands. It makes it easier to speak, easier to explain.] I like them, I like to talk to them and listen to their stories. At times I find myself fascinated with their growth.
[This is relaxing.]
But they are not my friend.
[To be fair, they haven't. Enkidu has been tired lately and they have spent a lot of time sleeping.]
I will not find one but you may tell me of these other possibilities. [Finally they close their eyes.] Your kindness moves me.
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Date: 2019-12-08 08:28 pm (UTC)So your Bond would have to be your friend... Sounds like you just need more time to make some. [ A friend, or do they mean a very particular friend that is not here? Spreading out his hand, Caster presses the heel of his palm into one particularly stubborn knot—working it out to release the tension he found. It might be a little painful, but that's what the oil is here for. And in the end, muscles relieved of tensions will feel better afterward. ] As for alternatives— there are familiars, friendly creatures sensitive to magic. Well, any animal can work, as long as it's fond of you, Rituals to expel excess magic works short-term, but they're best when there is someone to receive it.
[ There— the knot goes away, and Cú's touch is back to gentle, almost apologetic ]
Channeling and cycling it through intimacy is also another way. [ Even today some Witches refuses to Bond. And there were ways of handling the build-up before this become popular ]
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Date: 2019-12-09 12:34 pm (UTC)Ah. No. [Enkidu sighs deeply because they miss Gilgamesh terribly.] My friend is not here. I cannot bond with another until he is here. I have promised that I'll never replace him and I will keep that promise. If that would mean that I will explode...so be it. [Normally their voice has a neutral tone but now the sadness is audible.
After those words they utter an uncomfortable sound. Whatever Cu is doing now, he's mashing up their bones or something like that. Still, they remain still, frowning a little.]
Did your bond turned into a lasting one? One you cannot do without? One that gives you purpose?
[Isn't that how they all turn out?]
Intimacy... You mean pleasure, I take?
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Date: 2019-12-09 11:47 pm (UTC)Who he is to tell Enkidu how to live? Or anyone else. On the other hand, a druid's role is to guide— guiding sometimes requires lectures. It's an art to figure out where it's time for that. ]
You ask a heavy question [ He hums thoughtfully ] I didn't want to Bond with someone I didn't feel a connection with, so it took time. Before that I did the best I could, staving the magic off in different ways— expelling or giving away where I could. Yes, through pleasure too.
[ It's efficient. It's fun. And it is a form of connection in the world that thrives on them. He is still open to helping others in this way, even if he is stabilized by both Lex and Archer. ]
Eventually, I found them, and I've taken initiative. [ A tough decision, back in those magic-muddled days some of the really negative feelings took hold, mostly irrational and blinding. Including a sad, selfish wish to find someone, or maybe be found by someone who would want to Bond with him. ] They're both are like a warm presence, always coiled somewhere beyond my heart. I belong to them, and they belong to me. So yes, it is a lasting one and it gives me a purpose. I'm glad I took that step then, even if I had no true idea what I signed for.
[ Lex was already a friend, a fellow warrior— a survivalist, adaptable and strong. Someone to admire and to trust. Archer was a harder case, less about similarities and more about how they complement their strengths and cover each other for their weaknesses. Yet he still partially can understand the sadness behind the stubborn loneliness. The need for it to be perfect. The need to truly Bond. Cú didn't have just One Friend, but the circle of his loved ones weren't as wide as some would think. A handful of names that truly made him alive. But nostalgia over loves long lost can turn into a poisonous melancholy.
Cú's hands travel to Enkidu's slender neck, press behind their ears, leaving the warmth and lavender scent. He leans down once again to gently brush away the long hair. ]
Tell me Enkidu. Would your friend want to see you waste away without him?
[ If you want to wait for him, survive ]
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Date: 2019-12-10 11:49 am (UTC)I know how heavy that question is. The importance of these bonds are not unknown to me. The ones involved fall for one another and because of that their souls grow. Servants become living beings, freed from a contract that bound them to battles and grail wars.
[But those words sound sweet. To belong to one another, to stand at someone's side. To have a purpose again, wanting to grow further because of that. And truly, they wish they could just ask someone to be that person to them. But important vows had bound them to where they are now. And they just aren't suitable to become a witch.
Enkidu has never known that this particular servant was able to do something like this. Touches so soft that it sends shivers down their spine.]
That is a heavy question as well. [They shift a little when Cu touches their hair and brushes it aside.] And I cannot give you an answer. But I can tell you that when I felt myself falling apart in his arms a long time ago, I heard him tell me that no one else would ever be a friend to him except for me. I was worth that much to him. He is a king, yet he cried for me. [They gaze at their hand and the tiny cracks on their fingers.] Therefore I will not ever replace him. I will never soil those words or take them for granted.
[They can feel their chest ache while saying that. There is a reason why they don't speak about their past, about their death, about all that has been said.]
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Date: 2019-12-11 09:18 pm (UTC)But he got two Monsters (precious people) anchored to him, he can take a bit more and have it leveled with ease. Along with the tension of their body, ease the tension of their mind, is the only thing he can do. For he knows his words while coming from a place of genuine care, might be seen as a blow.
In the end he was always am honest but blunt man. ]
The answer is something you need to figure out for yourself, not me. We might have come from different places and different times, but I can see your heart is big and clear. Your friend, your king, he can never be replaced. [ That's something he agrees on. Just like his own wife, his friend, his mentor and his blood-brother are all people that cannot have their places taken. And if someone would try, he would take a great offense at it. ] But he lived the rest of his life after your death, not alone, but as a king to his men.
[ Otherwise he wouldn't be a good king — no king is truly alone, or rather, he falls when he gets to that point. And whatever his personal thoughts about Gilgamesh could be, there is no denying that this man has written himself in history as someone who grew to be a great king ] Forging a new connection with someone does not equal forfeiting or replacing one that is already there. Maybe that's something to think about, alas—
[ Draining this bit of Enkidu's magic, drains also his pain and the melancholy of this kind is as beautiful, as it could be poison. It reminds him of his own time when the overflowing magic made every emotion intense— and longing for someone outside his reach, instead of just painful and melancholic it was a pain that wrecked his very being. Servants are stories finished and done, yet here they are granted life and free will again and that—
—that can be troubling to ridiculous extent.
Not every Servant has unfinished business, not every Servant wants another chance at life. Some of them are content when they are and this world shakes their very core. But it's a personal journey to find that meaning again. A guide is there to help, not to make a decision for someone. Cú leans down again, giving into a sudden temptation— he brushes his lips against Enkidu's neck. A ghost of a touch barely felt probable ]
Do not fall apart just yet. And if you need any kind of help to keep you grounded.
[ Just give him a call, or something ]
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Date: 2019-12-15 01:19 pm (UTC)But didn’t all of this triggered changes inside of them? They strayed away from their purpose and chose a life. They accepted their new purposes, they came to care, to love.
Yet Enkidu finds themselves clinging to all they have left behind. Because it is safe to be a weapon, there is a safety in hearing commands and obeying them. It is what they do best. And they want it back because they know so very well that they are worthless without it.
No one can use a broken weapon.]
Hmm… [Enkidu smiles, enjoying how parts of their body start to tingle with every bit of magic it loses.] …yet my soul cannot grow. Not like yours does. It is difficult for me to grasp this concept of living like all the others do, to accept a purpose that lies beyond the one the gods have given me. It is true that I need to figure this out for myself, yet I fear I do not have the capability to do so. [They sigh.] I am well aware of the negative nature of my words.
[The way humanity has written their friend has not been lost to them. No, not at all. But it has never brought relief. The unfairness of their death and the words Gilgamesh spoke clung to them as water would cling to their clothes.
The sudden touch of lips doesn’t surprise them entirely. Their eyes open briefly but they do not move. In a way it is soothing, kind.]
Cu…this is a temporarily solution… [Now they do shift so they can look at the other directly.] …falling apart will be inevitable… But I will not forget your kindness. And the fact you have been able to make me feel like this... Ah… [Enkidu chuckles softly.] …it will make me regret leaving this room eventually.
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Date: 2019-12-17 10:02 pm (UTC)Using "temporary solution" in context of all the options that Witches have outside the Bond, suggests a degree of apathetic acceptance of ones fate. Fate that results in their death that is. ]
Life itself is temporary, like every journey it will have to end someday.
[ Kind
Guess he never can sit in that place for long. He understands the pain, the struggle and loneliness- even acceptance of fate but it's apathy that he fears. When not having anyone and anything to fight for he turned entite struggle into a fight. ]
If your soul truly cannot grow from experiences found during this travel, it is only because you gave up on life already. [ He says, voice stern and words blunt. Red eyes watching Enkidu with sympathy but also focus. Just for a moment, because he breaks the contact to find a towel and throw it over their back. Hands pressing gently over the fabric, giving more warmth and soaking the residue oil. ]
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Date: 2019-12-19 11:08 pm (UTC)[Enkidu turns around halfway. Despite all the relaxation they are experiencing and the kindness emanating from his hands they are aware of a certain sort of frustration now.
After Cu has placed a towel around their shoulders they move to sit up.]
That is quite easy for you to say. [They lean forward a little, looking straight at him.] May I ask you how you define your soul, Cu? Is it one that belongs to a human? A half god? A god, maybe? I am unfamiliar with your story.
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Date: 2019-12-20 09:09 pm (UTC)But here comes the question and it's another tricky one. They surely know how to make people think, but if answer he gives could be of help to them... ]
My soul, huh. [ Cú mulls on the question as he grabs a blanket and throws it over Enkidu, also inviting himself under it. It's kinda cold here after all, and after all this warming up chill could creep all too soon. ] I was a son to mortal woman and a god. Deichtine was king's charioteer, the finest among her kind; Lugh of Tuatha de Dannan was praised as god of the sun, arts, crafts and oaths. But it wasn't unique situation, our gods walked among us often. They feasted, they hunted, they fought, made love and died among us. Many people could trace their ancestry back to them.
[ It's always a little strange to talk about this. He's not averse to talking about his past, or his thoughts. It's just rare to have someone ask these questions ]
There is no denying that the heritage in my blood has influenced who I am. [ It does so even now. "Arts and craft" and here he is combining magic with art of marking skin. The monstrous ríastrad rage could be traced back to his Fomorian ancestry. Three sides and yet how to choose just one ] Others around me seemed to care more of it than I did. At least until the day when I had to make a choice... because looks like there is always that moment, no? [ . . . ] If I'm boring ya, just say so. I ain't used to telling my own story.
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Date: 2019-12-21 12:18 pm (UTC)And while all of the other Heroic Spirits turned on their masters and embraced their lives here, Enkidu finds themselves unable to do so. They can look like a human and possess all the knowledge but that is how far it goes.
A human soul is all they truly want but no one could give them.]
No. It is an interesting story. [They get cozy underneath the blanket and lean against the other a little.] Tell me of the choice you had to make. Choices define every person.
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Date: 2019-12-21 02:35 pm (UTC)I found myself in Tír na nÓg, the Land of the Youth and dwelling of the gods and place where souls of the dead could rest before moving onto another life. [ Surprise, Celts believed in form of reincarnation ] I stayed there for so long that Emer, my wife, searched the all lands to find me. And when she did, well, suffice to say I still have a lasting impression how angry she was—
[ There's a small chuckle at the end of this sentence. A deep fondness, mixed with melancholy when he says her name. Emer the wise, Emer the sage, Emer of the radiant smile. It stirs a pained twist, but that's just a thing to endure. ]
So that was the choice. Stay there and lose my connection to the mortal realm, or return with her. I chose the latter. Manannán mac Lir has mercifully put a veil over our memories of what transpired there— so we wouldn't miss the golden lands, or so we wouldn't carry away secrets of the gods.
[ A shrug. There must have been a reason. ]
Not that it means I never saw them again —once that pesky Morrígan sets her eyes on you, you're already done, you just don't know when. [ Pissing off a war goddess tends to affect your mortality rate. Who would have thought? ] It doesn't matter. My king, my kin, they were humans, so why should I care what kind of blood flows through my veins? I wanted to fight for them so that's where I went.
[ Has this story be of any help to Enkidu, he doesn't know. It does make him wonder though on things he never really pondered before. Lancer manifestation of the hero of men in all his glory, Berserker for the power and pure unstoppable strength that Fomorian blood brought, and Caster, the last druid to keep the lore of Tuatha de Dannan blood for they have sailed away— it's true, he never truly considered what his fragmented heritage could mean to him. Living life to the fullest for every second.
The smell of lavender still fills the room, but now with them so close, Cú can tell that Enkidu's smell reminds him of a forest, wildflowers, fields and all that is green and alive. All things have a right to grow, why are they so adamant that they're the only one that can't? On the other hand, maintaining the magic on the correct levels is not something that comes easy to the Mirrorbound Witches. ]
Look, I'm not going to say that I fully get what you're going through. All I'm saying— magic here does weird things to your head and you might not even notice. So don't give up just yet, you might see things differently with a clear mind. And if you ever need help with clearing that, seek me out.
[ More training, pulling out the magic, all different ways of dealing with it. It can be figured out, especially since a lot of old-fashioned Witches don't touch the Bonding stuff anyway. ]
Besides, now you owe me a story of your own.
[ So don't try dying before that. ]
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Date: 2019-12-22 09:07 pm (UTC)It should not matter. The choice which call you want to follow is yours. Your blood does not define you, that is what the soul does. The soul is guided by the heart.
[But when the heart does not match the content of the soul everything stagnates.]
My magic does not work. I read a lot about its flow and how to stimulate its growth. But it jams. It takes a lot of energy to make it flow. It is quite the opposite of my abilities as a servant. I do think there is a way to overcome this, yet I still have to find it.
[Cu feels warm and it is pleasant to be in someone’s company. They curl an arm around Cu’s arm and hum softly.
Their story.]
That seems fair. Even though my story is old and long gone. What is it what you want to know?
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Date: 2019-12-26 09:12 pm (UTC)Cú listens intently about the hurdles with magic (it's so easy to forget that he had an advantage by being a Caster) ]
There's plenty I'd want to know, but— consider it a promise for later. [ So there is something to wait for, something to hold on for, but also because— he moves to put his arm around Enkidu only to sweep them off into his arms ] You sound weary, and it was meant to make you relax. The resting room is fitted, how about you being the first one to check how well it fulfills its purpose?
[ Maybe to take a nap. Or another kind of rest. And yes, he intends to carry them over there. ]
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Date: 2020-01-03 07:49 pm (UTC)[Enkidu's eyes widen slightly when the other scoops them up like that.]
Ah...it is true that I am tired...yet I am still able to stand upon my own feet. [Still, they do not move.] If there is a bed I think I will be doing alright.